


Roman’s Birthday 2020

by screamingatstars



Series: Sanders Sides Birthday Works [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Creativity | Roman “Princey” Sanders’ Birthday, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Meta, Post-Episode: Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux | Sanders Sides, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24539056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamingatstars/pseuds/screamingatstars
Summary: Roman should be happy after their most recent video. But he’s not.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Everyone
Series: Sanders Sides Birthday Works [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1574050
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	Roman’s Birthday 2020

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first birthday work to not have a happy ending; I felt like it fit with the vibe right now after the most recent episode.  
> Happy birthday to the first most handsome prince in the world.

Roman had already known that his character wasn’t exactly the most popular of the Sides. Which was a significant wound to his pride, to be sure, but one he could cope with. Likewise, he had also known that after Thomas posted Putting Others First- a fifty-minute-long labor of love that took many months to complete- there would be much debate amongst the viewers revolving around himself in particular. 

But he hadn’t been prepared for how intense it all was. The questions everyone was asking were never-ending: Where he went after sinking out, how he was doing, whether he was still a good Side, whether or not he deserved to stay…

It was comments of the latter kind that hurt the most. And there were more than even Logan had anticipated.

Every time Thomas scrolled through the comments of the video, Roman did his best to hide how much the words impacted. There was a lot of kindness down there, so it was easier than it could’ve been. All he had to do was smile at the love and laugh at the jokes, and conveniently be talking to Patton or looking away anytime the focus was on a more negative comment. 

_ Ignore the people who were angry at how his character treated Janus. Ignore the miniscule jabs that felt like knives in his side. Don’t think about how you know that you’ve gone through all of this before with Virgil. _

But now, laying on his back in the darkness, hands curled into his sheets and tears pooling in his eyes, he couldn’t help but think about all of it.

After they had posted the first part of Virgil’s acceptance arc, the sheer hate that had been directed at Roman’s character nearly broke him. Their normally kind, accepting fandom had become overrun with arguing and vitriol, raining fire down on any who still viewed Roman in a positive light. If they hadn’t already gotten his lines for the second part filmed by then, the video would’ve come out an entire week late, with how upset he’d been. That wound to his pride still ached sometimes, even though it had been years. Even though he had only been playing a part. Even though all of them, in reality, were one big family.

Now, the second time around, all the words hurt worse. His heart felt like it had been ripped out of his chest, leaving a cold, empty space where it had once resided. He could barely look at Janus at the dinner table, and couldn’t bring himself to eat, either. Sleep seemed to have abandoned him, leaving him tossing and turning for hours in his bed, desperately trying not to cry.

How quick they were to turn on him.

How unstable his position in their minds was.

It wasn’t until a month after the video was posted that the thought first occurred to him, creeping into his mind and refusing to leave:

Maybe… maybe he didn’t deserve to be a part of the series anymore.

If the fans hated him, if they hated his character, then wouldn’t it be for the best if he stepped aside? His presence in the show would drag the others down, and Thomas would be unhappy. If Roman was in the way of one of Thomas’ dreams, if it was his own terrible driving that was sending them off course, then it was his own sworn duty to fix that.

So the next day, when he and Logan sat down to work on the next Sanders Sides script, Roman left himself out if it. He wrote Logan coming up first, followed by Patton, then Janus. This was the beginning of the arc where they went looking for Virgil, a critical moment in the series as a whole.

And he, himself, Prince Roman, didn’t need to be a part of it.

Instead, he suggested that they have Remus pop up. The fans were smart. They could sense the thematic significance, especially after his foreboding exit in the previous episode, and he could word the dialogue just so, implying all they needed. The fact that it was happening  _ because  _ of their reactions wasn’t something they had to know.

Roman was unnecessary.

Logan looked at him strangely when he read over the first draft of the script, a question behind his eyes that remained unasked. Roman pretended he didn’t notice. He also pretended he didn’t see the worry on Patton’s face during their first practice reading of the final draft, when Roman stayed silent and out of view the entire time, always standing behind the camera instead of flourishing in front of it. When Virgil pointed out the noticeable absence, he merely dodged the question with a hurried excuse and ducked back to his room.

It was fine.

He was fine.

Everything would be fine.

The series didn’t need him. The viewers didn’t want him. This was what was best for everyone.

Including himself.

It had to be.


End file.
